The Turning Point – why I changed my focus

The one who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd.  Those who walk alone are likely to find themselves in places no one has ever been before.” – Albert Einstein

As a kid, I thought being an adult would be easy!  Stay up late! (Nope, not for me).  Eat whatever I want. (Not unless I want to suffer the consequences).  Do whatever I want, whenever I want (again, consequences).

As I grew into my early adult years, I was good at following life’s rules.  I did my best in school, work and in relationships.  Basically, I was a contributing human to society.

I fell in love with exercise at a very early age (hello Jane Fonda VHS tapes).  And at around 14 years of age, I found myself pushing my physical limitations as often as possible.  

At age 15, I would do 1,000 sit-ups every night.

At age 16, I started weight training on machines.

At age 18, I became a certified aerobics teacher.

At age 18, I joined the Army.

At age 21, I was on my college dance team, teaching aerobic classes and running 5 miles a day.

At age 23, I ran my first marathon.

At age 24, I ran my 2nd marathon piggy-backed by a 24-hour adventure race which consisted of kayaking, biking, roller blading, repelling and more.

At age 25, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

At age 25, I was told I would be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life.

Also at age 25 I just graduated with a Master’s Degree in Kinesiology.

In hindsight, I can tell you that the diagnosis was the best thing to ever happen to me.

But at age 25, just graduating college and about to embark on a career in exercise science, I was devastated.  But also stubborn!!

All 3 of my neurologists told me that 

  • All signs point to MS
  • Decide which medication you want to take FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
  • You may want to consider filing for disability
  • The chance of being in a wheelchair THE REST OF YOUR LIFE is highly likely

What they didn’t tell me, neglected to tell me, or just purposely omitted, was that all the medications have moderate to severe side effects and that a diagnosis is actually difficult because there is no single test to determine, with 100% accuracy, a diagnosis of MS.

Did I mention I am stubborn?

Initially, I tried the medication called Copaxone.  It’s a once-daily shot that made me feel like I was in the middle of a horrible flu.  Every.  Single.  Day.

Having a background in the human body and exercise, I thought I would “fix” my issue.  But I realized very quickly that I would need more than just exercise to “fix” me.  

That led me to do a deeper dive into nutrition.  I already had a very solid foundation but I knew I was going to need more ammo.  One year later and my diet was revamped.  But still, some lingering symptoms existed.

That led me down a deeper (and somewhat scarier) rabbit hole.  At this point, I had taken myself off of Copaxone and had decided to go ‘the natural route’ – whatever that meant.  I just knew that I couldn’t handle the daily shots, bruising and flu-like symptoms every day.

Findings of neurotoxins, vaccines, parasites, Epstein-Barre virus, Lyme’s disease, Eastern philosophies, Eastern medicine, chemical warfare, chemtrails, fluoride, anti-biotics, Naturopaths, dental work, GMO’s, negative entities, homeopathy and on and on, left me over-educated and sounding like a lunatic.  But I knew I was on to something.

At this point, I was so far down the rabbit hole that I had only one choice: to keep digging.

I’m sure you have questions for me at this point (which I would be happy and honored to answer – just click here)

At age 37, I had come to the realization that all of my MS symptoms had come from an emotional base.  How did I come to that realization?  Honestly, I don’t remember.  Maybe it was because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Or maybe it was from something I stumbled upon along my journey in the rabbit hole.  Remember, I was researching and learning as much as I could possibly take in, absorb and apply to myself.  But one thing I do know for certain was that I had 2 compasses:

  • One was pointing to emotions
  • One was pointing to a bigger picture of Big-Pharma and the military-industrial complex

Let me first say, that if you think what I am telling you is all lies or conspiracy theories, you DO NOT have to believe a word I say.  Nor do you have to continue reading this article.  But, if any part of you knows that your doctors aren’t helping, you are tired of the yo-yo lifestyle of your health and really just want to find the root cause, keep reading.

So I discovered 2 hidden paths in the rabbit hole.  

One of these paths would bring me to clarity and healing.  The other path would bring me to clarity and truth.  Both, however, would bring me a solution to my dis-ease.

The solution was rapidly forming in front of my eyes.  I realized the one link connecting them all: 


I began watching human behavior.  Mostly mine, if I’m being honest.  Some notions I had were: 

  • Why do I keep having the same unwanted experiences? 
  • Why can’t I change my habits easily?
  • Where did certain behaviors come from?

I couldn’t easily answer these questions.  Because we’ve been taught that willpower is all you need to succeed, I thought that I just didn’t have any.  Or that my willpower was all out of juice.

Willpower is not the answer.

Looking deeper and making a connection with Traditional Chinese Medicine, I began to realize that my emotions, connected to specific organs, were really the missing piece.

And here’s how I made that connection – Multiple Sclerosis (or any autoimmune disease) is affected by stress.  Stress is affected by our ability to cope with emotional situations.  Our ability to cope stems from childhood (almost always) which is the foundation of our emotional compass.

This was my Ah-Ha moment!

A childhood memory emerged from its depths like a lost ship.  And I quickly made the connections to a behavior that I couldn’t seem to kick.  Let me tell you that story because many of you will relate.

During my school years, when I would come home from school and begin homework at the kitchen table, I would be given a “treat” – brownies, chocolate chip cookies, Nilla wafers, etc.  Over time, as homework got more challenging or I found myself frustrated with any type of school work in which I needed to focus, that “treat” became expected.  Now, fully in my adult years, when I would get frustrated or overwhelmed with anything, my first instinct was to grab a “treat” in the form of something sweet.  My only coping skill for overwhelm/stress was to eat sugar!!!  Sugar loves to attach itself to the liver and gallbladder.  Frustration is a form of anger.  Anger affects the liver and gallbladder.

Now the pieces were coming together.  Coming to this realization brought me to tears.  And it was a moment in which I realized that to truly help people, I needed to understand more than exercise and nutrition.  Habits die hard.  And unless the pesky habits are addressed and understood, they will remain as habits.

This was one of my turning points.  To break apart and truly understand why I would reach for a sugary treat every time I felt stressed, overwhelmed or frustrated literally created a positive shift in my life.  

And thus was my catapult into shifting perspectives for others.

I’ve given you this story in hopes that you will see that innocuous things as a child can create lasting habits as an adult.  I’ve told you a story of a mother who loved her child and gave her a snack during homework time as a child.  This is a very innocent story that created a lifelong habit.

Think of the stories that weren’t so innocent.  I’m sure you can think of your own stories that you’d rather not remember.  We all have our own traumatic memories.  Those memories create even deeper wounds, which create deeper mindsets that feel impossible to overcome.  

I truly want you to heal yourself, whether that is physical, emotional and/or mental healing.  And when you can come to accept that most, if not all, of your distress, dis-ease and bad luck come from your emotions, you can finally begin to unravel the answers.

I want to circle back to 2 points mentioned earlier that may need a bit of elaboration.   

  1. If you aren’t aware of Big-Pharma or the Military Industrial Complex, this is a HUGE part of the rabbit hole I will caution you about now.  It is often triggering for those not ready to see what is hiding behind the curtain.  But it can also free you from the constraints of society.  Consider this your warning! 
  2. Auto-immune diseases come in many different shapes and sizes.  And none of them have been completely proven to have one main cause.  What this means is that stress is the real issue.  And once again, stress comes down to how we cope with it.  You don’t need to label yourself with a diagnosis.  Educate yourself and then begin to heal yourself.  You ARE NOT sentenced to life just because a doctor tells you so.


If after reading this you are curious or would like to chat with me about my coaching, CLICK HERE

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